Paul and Clare
I was really overwhelmed after having had two children. I didn't have much self-discipline and was inconsistent. I wanted to be the best mother for my children, but I felt I was always failing. My husband felt the same way. We were stressed out!
One month after our second child was born, he suggested a vasectomy. I agreed thinking there was no way I could handle another.
As the boys grew I continued to struggle and began to go to a mom's group called MOPS (Mothers Of PreschoolerS). It was my favorite time of the month! It was a much needed break from the kids and a time of fellowship and fun with other mothers who also had preschoolers. At each meeting we listened to funny speakers, ate delicious food, played games, won prizes and did a practical craft.
We constantly heard, "Children are a blessing and a heritage unto the Lord". I remember thinking, "Yeah, right! Then how come I am so overwhelmed all the time?!" It occurred to me one day that if God said it, it must be true and that maybe I had an attitude problem. I decided to pray and ask God to change my attitude. I actually prostrated myself in my living room when I prayed for this attitude adjustment. I had so little faith that I could be changed, that I thought I needed to make an extra effort in my prayer to really humble myself and get God's attention!
One of the first things I discovered after having prayed was that my priorities were off. I had never thought about the fact that not putting first things first in my life could be causing some of the parenting difficulties I was experiencing.
So I began to reorganize my days and weeks to center around my family instead of friends, ballet lessons and miscellaneous diversions.
My children were a lot happier and more relaxed. I began to enjoy them a lot more. Before this change in my priorities, each day when my husband came home from work, I was ready to run out the door or go hide in the bathroom. Suddenly, he lost his job and had to go to another city to work and only came home on the weekends. I was afraid to lose his support since I relied on him so much. I was about to see that my prayers had been answered invisibly and that the attitude adjustment I so wanted and needed had been given to me.
When my husband came home after having been gone for an entire week, I was fine. I was relaxed and the house was in order. I wasn't ready to run out the door! It was amazing.
As time went by and as things continued to improve, I began to desire having more children. My husband was adamantly opposed. I looked into a reversal with the doctor who did the vasectomy and it was about $10,000. We could never afford that! We were living month to month on a middle class salary. So with those two factors (the money and my husbands unwillingness), I had little hope for ever having another baby.
I again had recourse to God and I prayed and asked for His help. Two women came into my life within a few months of each other whose husbands had had vasectomies and then had them reversed by the same doctor, Dr. Cary Leverett. They told me that he did reversals as a ministry for a low fee of around $2000.00 and that they had wonderful experiences. $2000.00 was a lot of money to us at the time, but it gave me hope and seemed within reach. My husband was still uninterested and told me flat out, "You will never have another baby". I continued to pray.
Gradually he began to become willing. We still needed $2000.00 though. Over a summer we did different jobs to raise the money. It took us three months, but we did it and we made an appointment for February.
We flew to
San Antonio and went through the procedure.
Everything went well and we went home excited about the possibility of a new baby.
It took four months to conceive our son. We were thrilled. We had another boy after him and then a baby girl and then another boy. We found out that the secret to happy families is children!